It’s like I can still hear it playing with my mind dancing
to the beat, Nikki Costa, “Like a Feather”…
Groovy beats surround the atmosphere of the box-like
Personal one on one boutique.
I can count on a hand how many forms of ugly I experienced
today.
Second day on the job. Better than the first but still edged
with stress of learning the ins and outs.
Retail is not for everyone. It is challenging. Cutthroat.
Backstabbing. Seedy. Even condescending and belittling at times. Absolute
Survival of the Fittest.
You better have your hard hat on if you step through retail
doors. You’re going into a battle…of mostly women.
Test your ability to open yourself “completely” up and
expose your vulnerable side to rejection of suggestion and advice to your
client or customer.
I’ve been tested for many years and I must give it credit
for opening me up in ways that would probably still be closed off to this day.
I’m more vocal because of it. Unafraid to share my thoughts
and express how I feel. It forces you to do it.
If a woman asks you if something makes her look fat, or if
she looks at herself in the mirror of her dressing room, basically telling you how fat she is ( and that’s
why the pants, skirt, top, or jacket doesn’t fit ) you feel compelled to give
your honest assessment. Well at least I do.
But when I go out of my way to engage with you to develop a
connection, since you are a customer shopping in the same establishment I am
paid to work, and all you can do is give me a distortedly hateful gaze, then I
wonder what the heck are you here for?
Why do I deserve such ugliness directed back at me when I’m
only doing my job. Sorry if it offends you, Ladies, to have a retail stylist
approach you just to say, Hi, how are you today? Or to be even more personable,
“Hey Ladies, what are ya’ll up to?”
Two young women talking in a corner of the store. It’s my
job to approach customers and ask if they need help with finding anything or
assistance with putting their outfit together. Instantly, Excuse me? And the
interaction was awkward when I’m trying to give options. These girls had to be
younger than me yet at 27 I felt so out of place and uncomfortable just to show
them options. But it doesn’t stop there…
What colors are you usually drawn to? Do you like drapey
tops or more buttoned down tops? What material do you usually like to wear? I
swear I can answer at least one of these questions if not all to at least give
a lead to possibilities. How can we, women, not know what WE like?!? It’s time
that we do. No one can think for us but ourselves. Blank stares. No response.
Just flat out no acknowledgement that I just asked a question. This is how you
test your inner strength, self-esteem, and confidence.
I’ve learned that I can’t let the uncertainties of anyone
let it affect my confidence with the knowledge I’ve acquired. All I can do is
suggest and offer. That’s it.
Back to the two young women…
Ended up finding out after a series of hit and miss that she
was looking for a suit for an interview as a grad student. She couldn’t have
been any more stiff than a corn husk. Looking me dead in my face as if I was not
on her “level” and talking gibberish she couldn’t understand. I live in a snooty town.
My fiery personality can take but so much ego-bashing so
eventually after showing her 3 cute jackets and asking if she also wears sizes
in petite, I decided to “remind” her of who I am. It’s no pressure. I’m not
forcing you to buy anything. Just showing you options because you’re looking
for a suit. After that she made a typical response, Oh that’s fine. I’ll keep
looking… that I didn’t waste time
hearing and kept it stepping. There are some people in this world who put you
in a more ridiculous situation than you need to be in and you just have to let
them fend for themselves.
From what I recall she ended up leaving the store with her
friend, sister, cousin, whoever she was, with Nothing. So she made a blank trip
and left with no additional help from me.
Woman number 2 is unfortunately one of my fellow black women…
Came in dressed down, not looking diva-licious like we love
to do. Right ladies? Ok did my usual greeting and additional info booster about
the sale and sweepstakes going on. She barely gave me eye-contact, attention,
or owed respect for offering my services if she needed assistance with
anything. BUT we’re supposed to personally give attention to our clients
because that’s what the company’s mission statement says. Most retailers say.
I looked at the skirt and pants she was holding. Her body language was one to be desired.
Acted as though I was going to steal what she had or disgusted I was touching
it. Ignoring it for the moment I believed I could add an additional item to her
set. Found a drape neck burgundy top, showed it to her, and acted as though I
wasn’t addressing her with an item. Saying nothing is nasty. Saying, you’re
fine with what you have is another. So I
offer to show her an open fitting room, like we’re supposed to do, and she took
off like a bat out of hell. Walked past me and ran into a room and shut the
door.
She didn’t have to worry about me “Assisting” or asking her
a thing anymore…
Didn’t see her anymore until she was leaving and I walked
right by her like she was ghost. Rudeness applies. Customers should be mindful
of associates in a store they’re shopping in. I KNOW sometimes as people we
just don’t want to be bothered, but remember you’re out in public and shopping
in a store with associates who are PAID to make sure you’re finding what you’re
looking for and not leave pissed off no one helped. There’s a fine line between
being too pushy or “available” and I’ll be more mindful instead of trying to
give so much, but rudeness and hatefulness is not necessary.
Which leads me to woman number 3…
Elderly white woman who thinks she’s “bossy”. Bossy meaning
Fly and in demand. Stepped up in there and one of the associates I met ran up
to her like she was one of their own. I assumed she was an associate that
worked there or used to. She was browsing around so I asked if she was finding
everything okay. This woman looked at me as if it didn’t MAKE SENSE that I was
TALKING to her. Weird. So I responded, I’m sorry, do you work here? She says
nothing, looking at me as if I rolled off the street from being hit numerous
times by a truck. Huh? So I looked at her and said again, Are you finding
everything okay? Thinking she didn’t hear me. So she again, said nothing and
ignored me. So I turned away and thought to myself, that b* won’t have to worry
about me ever asking her a thing again if she steps her old snotty a* back up
in here again. She meandered herself through the small store and I she was
irrelevant to me from that point on. Rudeness at its best.
There’s something about being the “new kid on the block”
that puts you on the spot. Exposes you and makes you feel absolutely vulnerable
for speculation and judgment. The best thing is to know who you are and not let
anyone sway you from believing what you know is True about You. I know who I am
and that’s all that matters. For however long it lasts it will just be a lesson
and test of life and I’ll move onto the next challenge. Because no matter where
I go there’s going to be challenges to overcome.
So Kool World, Pen’d Traveler first edition. Day 2, over and
done. Learning my way and still more to learn. Stay close to my pen and paper
for my next edition whenever that may be. But hopefully not too much later ;)
